It's Been A While

It really has been a while since I wrote, but I have been busy with learning how to effectively communicate in a relationship.

Seems strange that as a professional communicater I would have a hard time with it, but there are many things to think about when communicating with someone in a relationship, anytype of relationship.

You never try to start an argument and you never want to hurt someone else with your words. In a relationship it can be really difficult to say things you need without making your partner, friend, family member, feel less of themselves or like they haven't been doing what you need. But they cannot read your mind and I have learnt that you need to be specific and actually tell your partner what you need. 

Boundaries need to be clearly communicated and might need to be communicated more than once. 

Wants and desires change and having a check in with your partner is necessary if you want to continue to grow together and not push apart.

Relationships never just work, they need work and investment, always. 

Regardless of whether it is a friendship, family relationships, spousal relationship, employer/employee, or child/parent relationship you need to be effective at communicating. 

Think of a situation you have been in where you just wish this specific person would understand. Maybe it's a boss at work or a friend and they just don't give you want you are expecting. Ask yourself have you effectively communicated the need to the other person?

When you werr communicating with them were they listening?

Did they acknowledge your presence, or was it a quick, "hey I need xyz" and you walked away?

A part of having good commutation is ensuring you are setting the conversation up for success. There are many things to consider and some of these things are outside your own control. 

Continuing to work on communication is never going to end because you will always meet someone who communicates differently than you and you will need to adapt and shift your style. 

One thing I have learnt over the past few weeks is you can only communicate with someone if they are willing to communicate with you. You cannot force an idea or thought if they aren't willing to listen openly. In the end if someone isn't read to talk and listen you cannot effectively communicate. You need to do both otherwise it is not going to be effective communication.